You know you’re a Zebra when…
-You ache from head to toe and you’re too exhausted to move…but you still look great!
-You can hobble like an old woman from the disables parking spot to the store and people still give you dirty looks.
-You explain EDS to someone and they don’t believe you. They tell you it’s too weird to be a real disorder.
-You can absent-mindedly put a cereal box in the fridge…after also absent-mindedly rearranging a shelf so that it will fit.
-You’re incapable of sneaking up on anybody because people can hear your joints cracking from a mile away.
-You can relate to The Princess and the Pea
-You can also relate to Humpty Dumpty
-You have an entire closet just for your splints/braces
-You’re on a first name basis with your doctors, surgeons and nurses
-You’re the only one in your house who’s still awake at 3am, but you’re also the only one still asleep at midday
-You can sleep from 3am to midday and still feel tired
-You start giving your most rebellious joints nicknames
-You use the Spoon Theory
-It takes you until mid-afternoon just to get ready to leave the house…and then you need to lie down
-You get up, walk into the kitchen, forget why you’re there, go back to sit down, remember, walk back into the kitchen, and forget why you’re there…
-You can tell your friends and family that you’ve dislocate something and have to stop and reduce it…and they act like it’s normal
-If your friends ask you to meet up next Tuesday, you have to say you’ll call them on Tuesday morning to confirm because you won’t know until then whether or not you can go
-The 1-10 pain scale doesn’t apply to you
-People ask if you’re studying medicine because you seem to know so much “random medical stuff”
-All you want for Christmas is new collagen
-You remember holidays like Christmas and Easter by which injuries or surgeries you had at the time
-You need both hands and all your strength to move an empty frying pan and your fear isn’t of dropping it, it’s of the frying pan taking you down with it
-You take a bag with you everything and it’s full of medications, bandages, salty snacks and water or Gatorade
-If asked for your medical history, you pull out a packet of information all typed and ready for them. Listing everything would take hours and you’re terrified of forgetting something important
-You factor “bad days” into your plan for the week…then go back and add an extra one..just in case
-You get told off so regularly for putting too much salt on your foot that you just can’t be bothered explaining low blood pressure to people anymore
-To list your current aches and pains would spend your entire quota of spoons for the day
*-You’re family can’t understand why you were such a ‘normal’ child and now you can’t walk and have a doctor’s appointment…or 2 or 3…a week
-You can’t remember the last time you went to bed before you were already so tired you were passing out, and it’s not because of your party-hard lifestyle. You just can’t get any sleep unless you’re that desperate
-You’re sick of hearing, “But you’re so young!” whenever you explain EDS to someone. Clearly the concept of genetic conditions starting at conception is beyond some people
-You wish you got paid in cash every time a doctor, nurse or EMT asked, “So, what hurts?” or “EDS? What is that?” We would be millionaires
-You can use your symptoms (aches, swelling, blood pressure) to predict the weather more accurately than the weathermen can with their fancy equipment
-When you pass out or get some new, frightening symptoms, instead of going to the ER or calling an ambulance like a ‘normal’ person, you just write it down to mention to your specialist at your next appointment
-Your nickname is Snap, Crackle or Pop because that’s what you do
-Some doctors are scared of you
^ found it here.
Have you tried hypnosis? (I’m still sick, but when the phone rings I bark like a dog.)
ThisZebraEarnedHerStripes 